Appreciating friendships

Students reflect on actions, attributes and feelings associated with being friendly and unfriendly.

1. Conduct a shared reading of How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them. This 'guide to friendship' covers who can be your friend, how to show someone you would like to be friends, how to handle bosses and bullies, best ways to be a friend and not be a friend, and ways to settle an argument with a friend.
2. Using the Teaching Resource: Friendly and unfriendly signs, place a ‘friendly’ sign at one end of the room and ‘unfriendly’ sign at the other. Have students consider several of the following scenarios then move to the sign that best represents their opinion. Invite students to discuss their placement with others near them.
   • You have a different type of backpack to all the other girls in your class. Some of the girls in your class laugh and point at your backpack when you walk to class.
   • A new girl has joined your class. She looks a little lonely at recess so you ask her if she would like to play on the swings with you.
   • You tell your friend about your exciting weekend away on a farm and he just talks about what he did on the weekend and says nothing about your time on the farm.
   • Your friend lets you take her favourite doll home for the night to play with.
   • A boy in your class always slams the ball down hard when he gets out playing four square.
   • Your friend is good at doing tricks on the trampoline. You are not so good and often make mistakes. She never laughs at you. She just tells you in a kind voice what you did well.
3. Ask students the following questions:
   • How do we feel when people are being friendly to us? (warm, happy, like we belong)
   • How do we feel when people are being unfriendly to us? (sad, nervous, rejected)
   • What are some of the skills for getting along with our friends and others? (social skills that lead to good relationships such as being positive; saying thank you; being a good listener; finding things in common; being a good winner and loser; being interesting; cooperating; sharing information about yourself; sharing your possessions; giving compliments)

• Draw a T-chart and label it 'Friendly' and 'Unfriendly'. Whiteboard these responses under the 'Friendly' column and draw pictures for each to act as a trigger for poorer readers.

4. Ask the students:
   • Are you born with these skills? (no, you have to learn and practise them. If you get along well with others you have a sense of belonging and satisfaction. Practising these skills while you are young will help you get along with people better when you are adults)
   • What kinds of problems can friendships have? (misunderstandings, arguments, jealousies, growing apart – stress that all friendships have problems sometimes but these problems can usually be sorted out. Some friendships are only temporary but this doesn’t mean that one of you has done something wrong or that you are not likeable)
   • What are some things that make it harder to be friendly with someone even though they are probably a nice person? (unhealthy behaviours such as being a poor loser or winner; making negative comments; constantly talking about self; scowling and looking grumpy; not saying anything about self or how they feel; not sharing; being mean and nasty; starting fights over small things; not being flexible)
     • Whiteboard these responses under the 'Unfriendly' column of the T-chart and draw pictures for each to act as a trigger for poorer readers.
   • Do we use fewer ‘getting on with people’ skills with our brother(s) and sister(s) or mum and dad? Why?